Every child needs at least one grandparent - a grandparent that will spoil him or her rotten! No, not really. But, grandparents are important in a child's life. They can offer the gift of "unconditional, love", according to Art Linkletter, author of Old Age is Not for Sissies. They are saying "I love you. I'm going to love you, no matter what you do." Parents and children love each other, but there can be a special bond between children and grandparents. Too many people do not seem to appreciate grandparents. They regard them as relics from the dinosaur age. They are "old fogies" who are out of touch with the real world. Their ideas are outdated, and their advice ignored. To younger generations their company becomes dull and boring. But, the truth of the matter is that grandparents are people too! Their skin may be wrinkled, their eyesight and hearing may not be what it used to be, and they may shuffle along when they walk, but inside, their feelings are just the same. I once asked my grandmother how she felt inside. She replied, "I feel just like I used to."

Since we grandparents are people, here is an offering of some rules that will help us to be more successful in grandparenting:

Beware of your role. You are not the parents. You step in only when needed. When there are problems, you are a source of support and reserve. They may call upon you for sage advice, but don't step in uninvited.

Follow the rules. If you are in their house, you abide by their rules. On the other hand, if you are at home, and the parents don't discipline the children the way they should, it's up to you to set the rules.

Don't be too rigid. Be willing to bend some. Remember when you were their age.

Share your experience. Introduce your grandchildren to their roots with scarp books, photo albums and stories. I used to beg my grandmother to tell me about the "olden days". She laughed about me calling them the "olden days". She thought of them as yesterdays, not as ancient times. Teach your grandchildren a skill that you have: fishing, hunting, knitting, horse-back riding, etc.

Share quality time with your grandchildren. My attorney told me that he had taken his twelve-year-old grandson with him on a trip to Ireland - just the two of them together for a whole week. What fun they had, and what memories were built!

Keep in regular contact. If distance separates you, you may not be able to see them as often as you wish, but there are the telephone and e-mail. I was working away at my computer one day, when suddenly there was a voice saying, "You have mail". I switched over to e-mail and found a message from my granddaughter in Dallas. They had just bought a computer, and she was sending me a message. What a delightful surprise!

Visit as often as you can. Better still, take the grandkids on vacation. That give you time alone with them and allows parents some time to themselves.

Don't feel that you have to spend all your time with your grandchildren. Grandparents are people, too! They have a right to have time for their own pursuits.

They have reared their children, and they deserve a rest. As someone has expressed it: "Grandparents love to see their grandchildren come, and they love to see them go home!"